HR: My Muse

It’s funny that my job, though I hate it so, does prove to make me feel so much better about myself. You see the hospital emergency room attracts a certain kind clientele that is nearly indistinguishable from the clientele found at the methadone clinic, the parole office, and the schizophrenia doctor. In fact I think people stop in on their way back from all of these places. It serves to make me realize that I never going to be the drug addict/alcoholic/vagrant/teen mother that I always feared, thanks in large part to an especially horrifying elementary school play, I might become.

For so long I believed that it was more co-workers who were blighting this otherwise “world class” establishment with their accents and chain muffin eating, but no, all along it was the patrons, with their “cure my blindness” and “stop my bleeding” demands. Really, do they really think that Medicaid covers the measures in takes to stop ones bleeding? I would ask them if they wanted a little cheese with that whine, but if they though I had wine (or cheese) I can be assured a madball to the face.

These are the people I spend my day with; the literal unwashed, and heavily begermed masses. It is not outside of the realm of possibility that I will, on any given day be, coughed on, sneezed on, vomited on, or bled on. That is just the usual stuff. Sometime people through chairs in my direction, threaten to shoot me, or beseech me to produce several rolls of tin foil so that they my produce a hat adequate enough to hide them from their assorted supernatural pursuers. These are the people with which I must work. It would be described as “colorful” if it was not in fact typical.

Sadly I wish to leave this utopia of sputum and foul odors. I am once again diving head first in the cesspool of lost resumes, hiring managers going on vacation for 3 months, and the odd stories about how Chinese people come from china. I am looking for a job again.

I have ever written a cover letter extolling my many virtues, including being pleasant, and understanding, and really loyal to my employer. At least I use my real name on these letters so not every thing is false.

Missing from my resume this time around is any job that involved soap, water and sponges, and any job that I held for less than 2 months. I have certainly done a lot of pruning.

Hopefully I will have time to document the many trials and tribulations associated with my trying to find a job. I think I might just have experienced every awful interview experience it could have ever experience during my last round of the job search. Hopefully that will prove to be a gross understatement two months from now.

Could dealing with a few HR offices really be much worse than this?